7 Tips for Staying Calm During the Wedding Planning Process

We may try our best to remain stress-free, but it’s inevitable that at some point during the wedding planning process, you’ll get overwhelmed, frustrated, or worried. Here are our top tips to help those moments pass and continue to enjoy the process.


6/29/20235 min read

person holding notepad and pen flat lay photography
person holding notepad and pen flat lay photography

You’re deep into the wedding process and someone asks if they can bring a plus one. Just when you think you have your colors picked out, there is a new trend going around that makes your vision look sub-par. You finally decided on emailing invitations, but family keeps asking for something printed.

No matter what it is, there will inevitably be a point in the wedding process that pushes you over the edge. You can have all the patience in the world, but with the number of decisions that must be made and the amount of money that you’re investing, there will be moments when it gets the best of you. It’s understandable; as you plan, you begin the develop a vision and set of expectations that you hope for our of your big day.

But as you plan your wedding, it’s important that you also have patience with yourself and remember some best practices to keep that stress in check.

Tips to stay stress-free during the wedding planning process.

Below are our seven most effective tips that helped us get through our wedding planning process so that we could stay focused on the good stuff.

  1. Get organized.

  2. Stay focused on you and your partner.

  3. Set boundaries.

  4. Get off of social media.

  5. Create a budget (with a buffer)

  6. Rely on your go-to stress reducing activities.

  7. Remember that it won’t go 100% to plan!

Get organized.

Planning a wedding can be a big undertaking, and you might find yourself thinking of brilliant ideas in the middle of the night or in the middle of a work meeting. You’ll reach out to several vendors and will need to somehow compare their offerings and prices. You’ll finally pick all those vendors out, but then you’ll need to keep track of their contact information and when their payments are due. The list of things to remember is long, but luckily there are thousands of resources to help you stay organized. One of our favorites is this printed planner, The Little Book of Wedding Checklists*. We like the fact that it’s printed because it makes everything easy to see and take with you as you run errands or visit venues, and it’s incredible comprehensive. Get this at the start of the wedding planning process and you’ll feel good from the start.

Stay focused on you and your partner’s relationship and priorities.

Remember, a wedding is a celebration about you two, not your friends, cousins, or parents. While you want them to have fun and celebrate with you, over the years they will go to many other weddings and have changing opinions and memories, but you will still only have your one wedding. The day should be reflective of your relationship and what you want to bring into the next chapter of your life, so if you get wrapped up in planning, take a breather and remember the amazing partner you can’t wait to marry! Having a conversation at the beginning of the planning process about your priorities—what you really want to happen or to skip—can also help you two create a vision and make decisions together. Having a united front not only helps deter distractions, but it also creates opportunities for valuable conversations that can bring you two together even more.

Set boundaries.

This can be with friends, family, or even yourself. If there are aspects of your big day that you simply don’t want others to be involved in, it is completely understandable to limit the amount you share or receive on that topic. To set these boundaries with others, you can simply avoid bringing it up in conversation. If it is brought up, you can say something along the lines of, “I know this is an exciting part of our plans, but I’m really looking forward to keeping this one part a surprise for our guests. I can’t wait for you to see how it all comes together on our big day!”.

For yourself, if you know there are areas of planning that make you stressed, try delegating those activities to your partner or even eliminating them all together. For example, if you love to craft but you know it will take you more time than you have available to create your signs, give yourself permission to spend a little more than planned if it saves you a headache. (And pro tip, it likely won’t save you much if anything to do it yourself!). You can also set boundaries for yourself when it comes to the cost of things and comparing your wedding day to others. This brings us to the next two tips.

Get off of social media.

Yes, Pinterest is inspiring and TikTok is a great source of learning about what trends are in or out, but social media can also provide an overload of ideas and opinions. For every good idea on the internet, there are just as many opinions that aren’t actually relevant to you and have no impact on the meaning of your wedding. Plus, most of the beautiful ideas on the internet come with a hefty price tag. Limiting the amount of time on social media can help save you from feeling pressured to create a day that isn’t reflective of your relationship—or your budget.

Create a budget (with a buffer) and stick to it.

For many couples, wedding finances can be one of the biggest sources of stress. As you create your budget, be honest with yourself about what you’re comfortable spending and have conversations up front about who may or may not be contributing to your finances. From there, we recommend adding a 15% buffer for unexpected expenses. It’s common to create a budget for the wedding day, but other expenses like accommodation, attire, or unforeseen delivery costs will be a lot less of a big deal if you already have funds set aside. And when you’re facing decisions and need help picking one option over the other, having some built-in criteria may help you be more decisive and move on to the next item on your to-do list.

Rely on your go-to stress reducing activities.

In other times of life, you’ve certainly faced stressful situations and developed habits to help you minimize those feelings. Remember to continually practice those behaviors that work best for you. Continue to eat well, get regular exercise, and good sleep; these basics make a difference in your ability to manage any stress or anxiety you may be feeling.

Lastly, remember that your wedding day will not go 100% to plan!

You can do everything in the world to prepare for this day, but there will inevitably be something that comes up last minute that you’ll have no control over. Whether there’s unexpected snow, last minute guest cancellations, or guest shuttles cancelling the day before the wedding (we can’t believe this happened!), the biggest way to reduce stress particularly on the day of the wedding is knowing you’ve done your best. Some things are out of your control and accepting that gives you freedom to move past those speed bumps and embrace your wedding day.

There are infinite tips and tricks on how to handle the wedding planning process, but we found the above seven to be the most impactful.

Do you have other ideas? Let us know as we’d love to feature them. After all, this platform is built by brides!

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